


Out of the Frying Pan

by shiftyking



Series: Frying Pan Verse [1]
Category: Red Dwarf (UK TV)
Genre: Back to Io, Canon Divergence, Frankies ok don't worry, Lister is a sweetie pie, Lister's confused but grateful, M/M, Rimmer grows a pair, Rimmer is super repressed, Uncle Frank is awful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:14:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25067479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shiftyking/pseuds/shiftyking
Summary: When Lister is put in stasis for smuggling Frankie in board, Rimmer is accused of helping him and is fired. However Rimmer decides to make the ultimate sacrifice to save both Lister and Frankie by calling his family and going home to Io.
Relationships: Dave Lister/Arnold Rimmer
Series: Frying Pan Verse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1846174
Comments: 14
Kudos: 40





	1. Calling Home

It was six hours to the next shore leave when Lister was summoned to Hollister’s office. Lister couldn’t believe when Hollister brought up the cat. He’d been careful apart from the photos and the bringing onboard of cat food. He’d been super careful he didn’t think even Rimmer knew. But he couldn’t give her up so into stasis he went. Kochanski didn’t even say goodbye, let alone look at him. It hurt. The whole thing hurt and he was worried about his cat. She’d be ok hopefully when he got out and then they’d be back on earth and off to Fiji. 

Lister hadn’t even had time to pack up and Rimmer had been slowly packing his things away to make it look like he was coming back like he’d gone on shore leave or something. He didn’t want a new roommate, he didn’t want a new person to work with. In fact he thought the whole thing was rather stupid. He continued to feed Frankie and pour down milk for her as usual. He’s been doing that for long enough and he liked to think Lister knew he did it. 

It was two days after Lister was put in stasis that Rimmer and Lister’s room was searched in the afternoon. Rimmer came back from a shift to find his room being torn apart. His things were everywhere. Lister’s things were everywhere it looked like an explosion in a teenagers laundry basket and not for the first time he was glad that he knew better hiding places than Lister. The searchers angered by the lack of cat they found had found just enough cat hair to be incensed. 

Hollister’s office had never impressed Rimmer much. It was grey like everything else and smelt as bad as he did. He even had a stupid figure of the ship on his desk as if he had to memorise what the ship looked like.  
“Where's the cat rimmer?” Hollister questioned for the seventh time but Rimmer stood firm and silent. Resolute in the face of the inquisition. “Right then you and Lister are being arrested for smuggling of contraband biological entities and for refusing to hand it over You lose your jobs immediately and you lose pay, take him to the cells”.  
Rimmer waited and then he only said one thing “I need to call my uncle now then I will be out of your thinning stupid hair you git” and then he left not waiting to be escorted out. 

The phone rang for a while before finally a posh voice picked up. Rimmer sighed and ran a hand through his hair.He didn’t even know why he was doing this, taking the fall to save his cute bunkmates cat. 

If he was honest with himself it’s because Lister and him had been getting closer of late. He didn’t want to jump the gun but he felt something and he didn’t want to lose that. Plus he actually quite liked having a cat. 

He mustered up some fake tears “Uncle Frank, something terrible has happened at work and I am so sorry. I want to come back to Io. I've made a few mistakes and me and a very good friend really need your help” He paused “I really need your help”.

Because if there was one thing having a terrible childhood had taught him it was when the best time was to lie. That was the clever bit of the plan. His family may be universally terrible but they were in high places. His divorce had obliterated his relationships with every one of his brothers but his uncle? No Uncle Frank tried to contact him all the time. He was desperate to bring Arnold home. Well now was his chance he’d just have to bring someone with him. That reminded Rimmer that he’d have to warn Lister about Uncle Frank’s wandering hands and lips before they met.

He packed quickly and efficiently. He’d never owned many things to begin with.He took down all of Lister’s photos, deflated the banana and put them all with some clothes in Lister’s kit bag which left just enough room for Frankie to sleep in. She didn’t have to be quiet for long. He’d had to hand in his and Lister’s uniform which meant his wardrobe was very sparse. He threw on an old Io Space Scout sweatshirt over his vest, grabbed their things and left. 

With the help of his Uncle’s anger he’d managed to get final pay packets for both of them, Lister out of stasis and the best but also worst bit he had been given Uncle Franks second holiday home on Io to live in as long as they needed to. He’s saved his employee and his only friend and his cat. He felt a little bit of a hero.

Except for the having to work with his creepy uncle part, having to go back to a planet that hated him part and the having to see the family he divorced part and having to explain this entire tangled web to Lister. In fact he felt less like a hero and more like he usually did a complete smeghead. 

He watched as Todhunter keyed into the stasis booth. “You know Rimmer, it was a surprise you had the balls to pull this off. I’d never realised how well connected your family were”. Rimmer kept his head down nervously bobbing on the spot holding the kit bag stacked on his suitcase. “No most people don’t” Rimmer replied wearily “I’d rather have kept it that way”. Todhunter sighed as the stasis booth opened and Lister began to move. 

.“Will you explain it to him or shall I” Todhunter drawled as Lister looked confused. “Why are you dressed like that ya smegger” Lister said confused.  
“I’ll catch you up on the shuttle” Rimmer replied quickly looping his arm through Lister’s to keep him upright and continued pulling the suitcase, tying the kit bags handed around the suitcase handle so it was easier to carry. Todhunter nodded goodbye to Rimmer as the men walked to the doors. “Wait what shuttle?” Lister cried.

The shuttle to the space corp ship took 20 minutes. Just enough time to catch Lister up on the facts and quietly remind him that Frankie was fine. “It’s the only plan I had Lister, I know no one would want to be on IO but its better than nothing and the cat can live with us until you can move somewhere else and..” Rimmer felt strangely apologetic for what he’d done. He hadn’t consulted Lister. His life had been upended and then he’d just upended his life again and was now taking him to the worst place imaginable. It was not the big heroic act he’d thought he’s achieve that involved far more crocodiles, lasoos and explosions this was rather crap in comparison

“They were gonna arrest us?” Lister clarified.  
“It appeared so” Rimmer replied  
“...and you called your posho Uncle ,who you hate, to save us and Frankie” Lister said, beaming like he was in awe of him (and Lister was sitting there surprised that Rimmer had grown a pair and sacrificed his life goals and choices for him).  
“You aren't angry?” Rimmer replied confused.  
“Why the hell would I be angry, that's brutal man” Lister smiled that big goofy smile that always made Rimmer feel strangely mushy “you are my hero”. 

“Yes well, save that for after we get there” Rimmer said quietly. As the shuttle docked he saw someone he knew standing on the side. He reminded Lister to be careful around Uncle Frank and steeled himself. Lister grabbed his arm as they pulled the luggage off the ship. At least they were in this together.


	2. Fly By

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On Frank's ship on the way to Io Rimmer and Lister have a heart to heart.

Uncle Frank was a tall man in his late fifties (early sixties at most) with a leery smile and artificially dark hair. He stood tall in his Space Corp uniform, all shiny and with medals and Lister understood why Rimmer was so obsessed with the look. Everything Rimmer strived for was standing in front of him and Lister didn’t like the look of him much at all. He didn’t like the way he hugged Rimmer for way too long even though Rimmer hated stuff like that. He hated how he looked at Rimmer and how he barely spoke to him. All in all Lister was picking up some very bad vibes from him and something had obviously gone on between him and Rimmer that was not good at all. He’d have to find out what and more importantly look out for him.

“Come in my boy you're gonna stay in my quarters for the two hours hyperspace trip back to Io then I’ll set you in the house, maybe a drink, i’ll cook something nice my treat eh?” Frank smarmed ruffling Rimmer’s hair for the fifth time in the past fifteen minutes.

“Oh you really don’t need to Uncle, your already doing so much for us” Rimmer said quietly looking completely uncomfortable.  
“Nonsense” Frank replied “Anything for my favorite nephew especially as you are finally coming home It’s been far too long although bringing someone else is a..surprise” and making it clear they weren’t getting out of it Frank put the two of them in his quarters and left. 

Lister sat on Frank’s bed letting Frankie out of the bag. “Is this all our stuff just a suitcase and a kit bag?” he enquired. “Yes absolutely everything we had I checked twice and in all your hidey holes” Rimmer replied looking on edge.

Lister signalled for Rimmer to sit next to him and he did awkwardly. Lister slowly slid a hand onto his thigh knowing the secret to getting close to Rimmer was slow, steady movements that didn’t frighten him off. Frankie weaved between them perching on Lister’s lap. “I’m not gonna ask ya yet what happened with you and your uncle” Lister said feeling Rimmer tense up “but You had my back on the ship so I’ve got yours I promise”. Lister looked deeply at him and Rimmer smiled obviously holding back a few tears. He didn’t speak.  
“You know Rimmer” Lister said picking up the conversation again “you really are my hero” and he plopped a kiss on Rimmer’s cheek. 

“I’ll tell you another day I promise” Rimmer said stoically trying not to sound slightly giddy from the first kiss on the cheek he’d had in years (even though he’d gone bright pink which Lister thought was very cute in its way) “you deserve to know, if he’s going to be around a lot which it sounds like he will”

Lister nodded “ok and I’ll stick with you I think. If he’s the best bit of your family then this’ll be hell for ya. And you did this for me so I promise ya you won’t be alone with ‘im. I can play the whole attention seeking boyfriend role and plaster myself to ya like sticky tape. 

Rimmer looked shocked “I um I don’t think you need to do that”

Lister looked at him “ I think I do. He looked like he knows what he wants on that one and I for one won’t let ya get hurt by a smarmy space git ever I promise plus nothing deflates stuff like that than not being able to be alone with ya” 

Rimmer nodded but didn’t speak. The ship got faster and hyperspace felt horrible compared to the slow clunkiness of the dwarf. Lister held Rimmer’s hand the whole way there and Rimmer though he wouldn’t admit to it he held back. 

“I’ll email Peterson, Selby and Chen when I have a minute” Lister babbled “They’ll be super surprised you grew a pair and saved me like a knight in shining armour”. Rimmer snorted” more like a tosspot in tinfoil we both lost our jobs didn’t we, all because you wanted a cat”. 

“Eh Frankie was for me farm” Lister said jokily,  
“a cat farm?” Rimmer looked confused  
“No there’d be a pig and ‘orses and cows and sheep on fiji” Lister said proudly  
“Where the bloody hell is Fiji? Rimmer said   
“It’s on earth. A bit away from England. You get a drainage grant if you buy there it's nice and cheap, that was me plan” Lister said clearly.

“Ah” Rimmer said quietly “you wouldn't have to go to earth for that, Io’s farmable it’s partially terraformed. We could always have like a chicken or something.”.   
“I’d like that and you could have a record player and a library full of books there or whatever you like” Lister replied suddenly his dream was shifting to a small shack on Io with the person that used to ruin his life but had just saved him and Frankie with someone he may just ever so slightly have had a slight crush on but thought he didn’t really have a chance with.

They fantasised for at least fourty five minutes on the new and improved plan before Frank came in and got his things.   
“We’re docking Arnold. You're finally coming home” Lister grabbed Rimmer declaratively “well isn’t that grand”. Frankie back in her bag mewed sadly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope people are enjoying this.  
> Also if anyone wants to my beta I would be so grateful.
> 
> Comments make the world go round!!  
> Seriously any comments or crit anything would be great!


	3. Moving In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rimmer and Lister get settled. Frankie gets comfy. Uncle Frank is up to no good.

As the door opened on the ship Frank, Rimmer and Lister left. Lister holding Rimmer’s hand pointedly and butting into any conversation Frank started. “I’ve never been to Io before” Lister piped up as back in her kitbag Frankie mewed in agreement for she too had not been to Io.   
“I don’t know what you’ll think of it”   
Rimmer replied smiling “It’s more traditional than the outer planets”.  
“Ah nothing wrong with a bit of tradition” Frank spoke up.   
“True” Lister replied “So anyway Arnie how long’s it been since you been back home again?”   
“Far too long” Frank jumped back in again “well when would it be must have been when you were 18-19 you graduated from the polytechnic and then you left”  
“Yes” Rimmer said staring into space “probably far too long”  
“Probably” Frank guffawed walking them to his car “please every day you were gone is far too long as far as I’m concerned. His other brothers are frightful. Very like his father god rest his soul. However this one” he gestured at Rimmer ruffling his hair again “ this one always had a bit more spark, I’m sure he’s told you about me David”  
Lister brushed him off “yes he has although he doesn’t often have time to talk” Rimmer took a sharp intake of breath this was going far worse than he thought

They drove in an awkward silence down in one of the labyrinth of tunnels to Frank’s Second holiday home one Rimmer knew very well. His family used to spend most summer’s there so the memories came back. “I’ll give you your old room” Frank smiled “and where shall I put David?”.  
Lister replied quickly “in with Arnie of course”  
Frank paused “oh right it’s that sort of arrangement is it”  
“If you mean are we dating then yes and I’m moving in with him to his home planet then yes” Lister replied as if it made total sense. The rest of the drive was Rimmer and Frank reminiscing while Rimmer looked pained. Lister sitting in the back seat keeping an arm on rimmer’s shoulder to get his point across. 

The house (second of two holiday homes which Lister thought was far too many homes for one man even one with two daughters) was gorgeous, earth country house style, A sort of cottage with a sprawling garden. Even though it belonged to a right tosspot Lister loved it on sight. It was beautiful and lots of room he noted for chickens. 

Frank opened it up beaming, he seemed genuinely happy to have his nephew back. Which was a good thing for Rimmer as he was the only one who he could call on. The worry now was his ersatz relationship with Lister being found out and the slightly more pressing factor that he was now out to his uncle which he hadn’t planned to do. He knew there were rumours about him on Io but he kept quiet. Now it was open and a bag damn mess.He hoped that wouldn’t stop Uncle Frank helping them but it hadn’t seemed to. He’d have to tell Lister to reign it in.   
It wasn’t until they’d gone upstairs to unpack that Rimmer had the bizarre realisation that the room he spent his childhood holidays in had been upgraded. Done up to be more friendly for adults. It was like it had been waiting for him which was a very uncomfortable thought. 

Lister sat on the big double bed. “Jeez this place is nice man” as he lay back on it. Frankie on the ground, litter box unpacked in a corner. Rimmer looked around. There were Io Space Scouts posters on the wall, a few books of maps, a space corps starship figurine. It was perfect. He almost liked it. 

He sat on the end of the bed “look Lister you weren’t to know but be careful about the whole us being gay thing ok” Rimmer started. However as usual, when Rimmer started a big elaborately planned speech Lister interrupted.   
“I’m pretty sure everyones aware of you” Lister said quietly  
“I don’t know what your talking about” Rimmer pouted.  
“Oh boy your a mess” Lister laughed “ hear me out I like you, you like me, we’re stuck here whats the point in not messing around together, we’ve got to pretend to, we’ve lived together long enough, What’s stopping you being happy?”

Rimmer went to roll his eyes at him. There were many reasons Rimmer’s wasn’t meant to be happy. He was on his home planet, stuck with his terrible family, lost all his job prospects to save a cute little gimboid and his cat. He had no reasons to be happy at all. Thank you very much. Except he didn’t have time to think about much of this before Lister had reached across and kissed him. 

“What the bloody hell was that for” Rimmer said with not quite enough venom in for it to sound anything but confused.  
“A thank you” Lister replied cooly.   
Rimmer looked at him truly confused.  
“You really are an idiot” Lister said cheekily rolling his eyes again before kissing Rimmer for the second time.

This time Rimmer understood the situation and kissed back. Frankie was asleep behind them and for the first time it felt homely. It felt safe and it felt like they may just survive this. 

Until they heard a loud cough and Frank looking furious at them.   
“If you are quite finished I think it would be nice to have dinner with me tonight”. Rimmer pulled back and went bright white, Lister stared him down grabbing Rimmer's hand.   
“David” Frank continued “you don’t have to come”.

The door slammed and Rimmer looked pained. That was settled then Uncle Frank was about to be on the receiving hand of Lister’s brand of revenge for whatever the hell he had done to leave Rimmer that scared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you are enjoying this. This won't be as angsty as my last big one so don't worry.
> 
> comments are lovely!


	4. Pre Dinner Drinks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank tries to separate Lister and Rimmer but Lister has a plan! and Frankie has a snooze.

Rimmer had trailed behind Uncle Frank out of the room. Lister was sitting on the bed listening to the conversation behind the locked door. Rimmer was obviously buttering him up and Frank kept falling for it. Frankie sat on the bed and with him winding herself around his legs. Finally the door re-opened.

Uncle Frank standing there hugging Rimmer yet again in a way that was getting more and more territorial. Lister decided it was time for a charm offensive emphasis on the offensive. He got up and walked toward the door.  
“Frank I know we haven’t got off on the right foot” Lister started “but I really am so immensely grateful for you taking us in. Arn really has mentioned you before, I haven’t been on my best behaviour today, I’m fresh out of stasis and I really can only apologise especially after how kind you’ve been. Arn must have got his bravery from you”  
Lister had to suppress a internal wretch at that but he knew this would work, to get close enough to someone and then destroy them. He was going to hoist Frank by his own petard and enjoy every minute of it.

Frank’s face changed  
“Ah new to stasis are you? It’s standard practice here all the kids practice being in it” Frank said showing off “I used to get arnie and his brothers to have a go in the space corps ones occasionally taking them on medium haul trips you know a couple of weeks and the like, Arnie took to it like a duck to water, Now Howard..”  
Rimmer smiled “Howard would throw up all over the place, he couldn’t handle it at all”  
The two Rimmer men laughed and Lister smiled along with them.  
Frank told a few more childhood stories before Rimmer smiled and turned to Lister “you actually did pretty well for your first go, didn’t even turn green”.  
“Felt dizzy as hell though and very confused” Lister replied  
“Ah how long were you in then?” Frank enquired. Intrigued, he had a feeling Lister may be up to something and was determined to get rid of him. He didn’t like people from Earth at the best of times, He especially didn’t like Earth men who seemed up to something.  
“Two days”  
“Two days!” Frank laughed again “wow you’ve got yourself a lightweight Arnie” he ruffled Rimmer’s hair again and made to leave “I’ll see you downstairs in around an hour changed my mind I feel like cooking”. And he left.

Lister all but pushed Rimmer back into their room, where Frankie was now fast asleep in the corner, and sat him back down on the bed pushing the door closed. Rimmer looked confused, he was confused, Uncle Frank had always flip-flopped emotionally but in adulthood he suddenly seemed pathological. He was never trustworthy but something about the way he went from shouting and screaming to joking with them had him uneasy. It reminded him of every other bit of his childhood and why he'd got out in the first place. Sure being a second technician with JMC wasn’t great but it was far better than what he’d come from. 

“Whats going on with him?” Lister asked and seeing Rimmer’s look of total fear grabbed his hand softly. He had a feeling he already knew but he had to hear it himself. 

“It’s a long story. My family are…” Rimmer stopped unable to think of a decent word for totally awful abusive stuck up pricks.  
“Start where you gotta start” Lister encouraged.  
“Right well. As you may have gathered I left at 14. What you may not have gathered is I divorced my family and the only ones I hear from are Uncle Frank and my mother. My mother well she just writes. She drinks a lot. We are barely cordial with each other. My father well he's dead so doesn’t really matter anymore but he was…” Rimmer clenched his fist tensing, even mentioning him was far too much. Lister held his hand a little tighter. Rimmer continued  
“ my father was an abusive fuckhead to be honest. Anyway the only other one that still talks to me is uncle frank but he’s well he’s..he’s just as bad as the rest of them. He slept with my mother a lot often while Dad was in the study. All the kids knew even Frank's wife God rest her soul. She was alright. But anyway Uncle Frank always took a liking to me.”  
Rimmer stopped hoping that would be enough.  
“In what way?” Lister asked quietly  
“It wasn’t creepy he just” Rimmer stopped “I was overreacting, I did a lot back then”  
“What did he do?” Lister said his voice dropping lower. He knew whatever the answer Frank was going to get it. He hated him completely.  
“He crawled into my bed and kissed me all right. It was a family holiday. Standard stuff back then just be careful around him ok” Rimmer moved quickly after his outburst and started getting ready. Trying to brush his hair into something decent. The ionian air seemed to always make his hair far too puffy. It looked ridiculous. 

Lister stood there furious. He was angry at everything. The stupid house, the stupid planet, the stupid people. He hated that he could now almost see a roadmap in his head of how Rimmer went from a small normal boy to the weirdo with no friends on the ship. It made him sad and frustrated. This planet was awful and they were both stuck on it because of him and Frankie. Yes he couldn’t fix that but he could get Frank off their backs. 

“Hey” Lister called over quietly “do you want me to come to Dinner with you?”  
Rimmer Laughed out loud “are you insane?”  
“Yeah” Lister replied smiling at him and Rimmer leaned in kissing him. Lister was a little surprised that Rimmer would do that but today had been quite disconcerting. They heard clattering downstairs  
“He’s a good cook actually” Rimmer said pulling back from the kiss “a creepy manipulative smeghead but a good cook”.  
“We’ll get rid of him” Lister replied going back in for another kiss.  
Rimmer’s eyebrows shot up into his hairline.  
“You can’t murder a senior serving officer of the space corps!” he whispered dramatically.  
“No not murder him just convince him to give us the house” Lister said calming him back down to tenable levels.  
“Oh he will do that and he works mostly full time. He won’t have long off anyway. He’s between big missions, his shore leave is generally far shorter than ours thats why we only saw him on holidays.” Rimmer replied surprisingly calmly.  
“Leave it to me” Lister said soothingly.  
“No we do this together” Rimmer replied like there was no other course fo action “now I know him and normally he’ll be drinking by now, once he’s had a few drinks things are easier trust me, in actual fact thats the same with my whole family”  
“Is that what I have to look forward with you then?”  
“no “ Rimmer said tensing up “not really a drinker, when you see what it does to the rest of the nutjob adults in your family well you just don’t bother”  
And suddenly in Lister’s head a few years of thinking Rimmer was a dull, teetotal arsehole all fitted in to place. In fact Rimmer made a lot more sense now and it made him even more angry at the planet he was on and the person whose house he was in. He grabbed Rimmer’s hand.  
“We’re in this together” he affirmed  
“Always Rimmer replied and they kissed again.  
“Arnie” Frank shouted from downstairs “come and have a drink”. 

Rimmer pulled back from Lister  
“Come down in ten minutes, he’ll have forgiven you by then” and then he left leaving Lister alone in the room with Frankie counting down the minutes until he’d be able to start his plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys this took a while I've been v.busy.
> 
> Anyway I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I think the next one may be split in two but we'll see!
> 
> Comments always welcome!


	5. Drive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank drops a bombshell and Lister loses his cool.

As Rimmer went down the stairs he tried to avoid looking nervous. He also wondered about Frank’s motives and why he hadn’t called his mother yet but on the other hand he didn’t think they’d be on speaking terms. With his father dead he really had no reason to be around his Mother at all so he supposed in a way neither did Frank. Except for if the rumours were true and his brother Frank was actually Uncle frank’s son but then again the only one who really looked like Rimmer sr was John. In fact walking down the stairs he just felt sad that he had to be there in the first place. He was broken out of his reverie by Frank handing him a large glass of something Orange. 

“Drink up my boy a toast, The prodigal son of Io returns” Frank raised his glass and watched as Rimmer took a tentative sip and then drunk his own in one fell swoop.  
Rimmer choked on it but kept sipping quietly hoping it would fill the awkward silences.   
“So my boy what will you do here then” Uncle frank enquired malice in his eyes.  
“Don’t really know yet but me and Lister can be pretty useful around the place I’m sure we’ll find something” Rimmer said quietly between sips. He could feel it rushing to his head.   
“Oh I think you’d be better off on your own, I could get you on my ship. If you were on your own” Frank suggested.  
Rimmer felt sick and nervous.   
“You know I know you called me because Lister got you in trouble. Now I’m flattered honestly I knew you’d come back but I don’t like that you’ve brought some little Earth man with you, Remember that you left the family. You abandoned us. Your so called father's dead and you did nothing. You left us. We didn’t leave you. I’ll get the food and you can think about it”. Uncle Frank ruffled his hair and left smiling in a scary way.. 

The whole thought cut Rimmer in to two then three then four pieces. Like he’d just shattered. He remembered his childhood. He remembered the day he left Io how he tried to say goodbye to his parents buts they wouldn’t even open the door. How his brothers refused to testify in the trial saying he was too much of a pansy and got what he deserved. Even Frank wasn’t at the trial although he turned up beforehand and tried to pay Rimmer not to mention him. Luckily he was with a social worker wouldn’t allow him to talk to him and instead of a conversation it seemed that he was just handed twenty dollar pounds and then it was taken off him by the social worker. It was the worst days of his life. 

He remembered the same house and the same bar and his mother. He remembered how he was told not to talk about what happened as it could damage Uncle Frank’s stellar reputation. How his brothers called him all sorts of things afterwards. How Mary and Alice just looked sorry for him but not surprised.

Then he thought about what he was being offered. A place in the Space Corp. A place in the best fleet everything he wanted. But he’d have to get rid of the one person he had left. He’d be stuck with creepy Uncle Frank from here to eternity. With no one else to speak to probably. Then he thought of Lister and his cat, of his big eyes and goofy smiles and their recent kisses. He thought of how this man made him feel safe and happy and would do anything to protect him and he wondered what agreeing to go with Frank would mean for Lister. 

He felt devastated and drunk. He leaned against the bar with his head in his hands. It was then that he heard the clomping down the stairs. Lister walked to him quietly as if Frank wouldn’t have heard him on the stairs.   
“Hows it going” Lister whispered.  
“Tickety boo” Rimmer said quietly holding back tears “I can join the space corp if you never come back”  
“Do you want me to go?”Lister said softly.  
“No you’re all I have really. I can’t stand them Lister you don’t understand what they all did, they’re so they're so” Rimmer cried slowly breaking down into floods of tears. 

Lister’s heart broke just looking at him and pulled him close.   
He whispered softly into Rimmer’s ear “I believe you.

It was at that moment Frank came in.   
“Look you disgusting little poofs” Frank screamed.  
Rimmer pushed Lister away. He was past crying, near hysterical walking towards Frank trying saying apologies between sobs. Frank slapped him hard across the cheek.  
“Arnold you are past saving. Your mother is a dirty little slut, Your father wasn’t even your father” He started slapping Rimmer again “you know that your father was your stupid gardnere before he was paid off to leave the planet. You mean nothing to anyone even Lister here is just here for a free ride. You might as well be dead”  
He went to slap Arnold again but Lister intercepted.

Lister punched Frank repeatedly. Kicked him in the stomach. Hitting him until he was on the floor. Rimmer watched quietly unable to move as if he was glued to the spot. Then Lister leaned in and whispered some things to Frank that made him go pale.   
“You have the house” Frank said to Lister “You have the house, you have the boy, I’ll send him some money and i’ll be gone”   
“Yeah you better do that” Lister replied.  
Lister helped him up before kicking him again. Rimmer had never seen Lister like that. Ruthless. It scared him.   
Frank got up again this time without help. He went upstairs while Lister tried to tend to Rimmer.

Lister refused to tell Rimmer what he said to Frank to get him to go. It was threatening in nature definitely and it left Rimmer confused and angry at himself that he was actually sorry to see him go. The more Lister grabbed at him, the more angry he became. He pushed Lister off him and ran up stairs. He could hear the car leaving.Frank was gone. He didn’t get a goodbye. The last bit of his family ,even though he was a terrible person was gone.He sat on the end of the bed feeling numb. Frankie mewled helplessly but he didn’t really hear her. He just sat crying feeling strangely like the young child he was when they left from that fateful holiday. 

It was ten minutes later when Lister walked back in the bedroom.   
“I had to turn off the food. It was almost all on fire” Lister mumbled.  
Rimmer didn’t speak   
“He’s gone” Lister consoled him.  
Rimmer looked at him still not speaking. His brain was turning things over.   
“You didn’t have to hurt him” Rimmer squeaked out “it was my fault anyway”  
“Christ your family did a number on you” Lister replied exasperated “no it wasn’t you;ve been to hell and back and then you came back for me alright and I love you and I ain’t letting anyone hurt you”

Lister looked at him after that watching Rimmer’s face hoping for a miracle and he got one.  
“Thank you” Rimmer whispered like a prayer before kissing Lister pushing him onto the bed.   
After a couple of minutes Lister came up for air.   
“It’s alright Rimmer I’m never leaving ya. I love ya too much” They kissed again full of urgency. 

It wasn’t until twenty minutes later that Lister pulled back  
“Now lets say we eat whatever gross smeg Frank made, drink his bar dry and have us a night we’ll never forget”  
Rimmer smiled   
“Yeah I’d like that”  
They left the bedroom hand in hand heading down the stairs of their new home, safe, happy and quite hungry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are guys the end of this story. I loved writing it. This chapter got v. intense.  
> Anyway hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> Comments welcome!

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya Guys. I'm back with another one.
> 
> I don't why I came up with this but I just really like the idea. Hope you guys enjoy  
> I will update when possible. 
> 
> Comments always welcome!


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